How to Win at Intimacy as a Single Woman

for High Achieving Single Women of Faith

Learn How to Have Sexual Success as a Single Woman...

......Without Ever Compromising Your Faith

The Book on This Page Will Show You How.

Do you want to know the right things to ask a man you're interested in as it pertains to sex?

Do you want to find out exactly where you would stand if you gave up the goods or not with a particular man?

Do you want to know what a man working with in order to avoid what too many wives did not, sexual incompatibility?

Do you want to know what kind of conversations on sex you should have with a man even when many in the church have told you not to have these kinds of conversations at all because you're single?

No More

  • getting caught up in the heat of the moment and giving your sex away too quickly before knowing exactly where you will stand should you decide to or decide not to give a man your sex.
  • being shamed, guilt tripped, condemned and/or disempowered as it pertains to decisions surrounding your sexuality.
  • overinvesting in men by giving them access to your sex when they are not invested in making you their wife.
  • compromising your faith, being misled by your feelings or misusing your freedom when it comes to intimacy as a single woman.
  • waiting until marriage to have sexual success. No! You can have this success now so that you can create the ‘Ships-n-Sex Life of your dreams before marriage!


The ‘Ships n SexLife you have today is the one you created. It is. (I’ll share more on that in just a bit). But my question is, is it the one you dreamed? If we’re being really honest here, then answer me this…is your life the way you pictured it?

Are your 30’s going the way you hoped and dreamed? What about your 40’s? Do you have Successful romantic relationships and an amazing SexLife? Or is your life full of successes in almost everything but your ‘Ships n SexLife?

You do know you created the life you have today. Think about it. The career or business you have, you did whatever it took to make it happen. Your degrees and advanced degrees etc, you did that as well. Whatever it took, you were going to have that.

You feel accomplished and definitely take the credit for creating the desired outcomes you have. But why when it comes to failed relationships or sexual frustration, we never seem to take credit for creating that in our lives? The same way you’ve been successful in degrees, career advancement and business opportunities, you can have that across the board including your ‘Ships n SexLife.

Yet, when that last relationship failed it was his fault…at least primarily, right? When you don’t reach the intimacy plateaus you desire, it’s because he didn’t last long enough or wasn’t large enough or patient enough or caring enough, right? But you knew what he was working with off rip, right? Oh no? Y’all didn’t talk about things like this before you gave him the goods? You didn’t discuss your desires and needs before allowing him access to your womb? didn’t create that part of your life, right? Only the accomplishments... 🤔

Listen…I’m not here to tear you down boo. In fact I’ve been in your shoes or at the very least your socks when it came to creating the life I had. I remember not getting what I needed and desired out of my ‘Ships of my SexLife. But what I didn’t realize was that I was creating those disappointments. Not because I kept choosing wrong but because I wasn’t asking potential men the right things when it came to intimacy and I would oftentimes make assumptions and end up giving access to my body to men who didn’t truly deserve it.

It wasn’t because they were bad men and it wasn’t because I was a bad woman. It was because we were sexually incompatible but I didn’t know the right things to ask those men before going further with them. I was thinking just because we were feeling each other, that was good enough but Lawd did I find out different.

Now I know what you’re thinking…no sex before Marriage, right? I get it. The problem is even when you tried to follow this, you did so from a place of fear. You know, the fear of the bad things that would happen if you had sex outside of marriage and that’s what kept you Celibate along with other fears like going to hell, displeasing God or letting Him down, getting pregnant out of wedlock, getting a std because of perceived disobedience to God’s word, etc.

So, when a particular man would come along, you found yourself struggling with those celibacy plans and ended up giving him the goods before getting the right information from him as it pertains to intimacy. Sooo, you started celibacy over and…over…and…over get the point. You’re older now. Still desiring marriage, still Sexually frustrated (when horniness is repeatedly and continually met with abstaining, Your Body isn’t getting what it needs and desires, therefore causing frustration that cannot be fulfilled with prayer). Come on now.

You been praying but you still just as frustrated today as you were when you first felt that frustration. It’s just that now you’re older and frustrated, single and frustrated, had a child with a man who didn’t marry you and frustrated, ghosted and frustrated…need I go on? I too was so frustrated that I just couldn’t take being in this continuous cycle of a frustrated lifestyle.

But see…I was able to stop cycles of that frustrated lifestyle and dramatically change my life for the better in the areas of my life that I struggled in the most…my ‘Ships n Sex. I sought out mentors who had the 'Ships n SexLife of their dreams and learned the right things to ask a man as it pertains to intimacy and I NEVER gave access to my body again until I deemed a man worthy of that access.

Along with my own research in this, my mentors put me on game in talking about sex with a man and not shying away from those conversations. Those conversations put me in a place of empowerment to where not only did I choose an amazing man to create the life of my dreams with but, I also had a plethora of amazing men to choose from. All they had to do was answer those things I asked before ever going forward.

And that’s what this book does. It serves as your pocket mentor who puts you on game of not only your sexuality but the power to create the ‘Ships n SexLife of your dreams without compromising your faith, by knowing the things to ask a man before giving him sex.

DISCLAIMER: I Wrote This Book So That...

you'll stop getting caught up in the heat of the “sexual” moment and giving a Man the goods before knowing if he's qualified for those goods

you can stop or avoid choosing fathers for children you'll have to explain why you chose them knowing they weren't ready to be fathers

single women of faith can be empowered to know what WILL happen should they decide to give a man sex or not. No guessing necessary.

you can avoid sexual incompatibility in lifelong covenant and find out what too many wives wish they had found out before marriage instead of after.

you don’t over invest in men because of sexual tension but instead actually embrace the sexual tension and make decisions sexually and relationally from a place of empowerment and not horniness.

This Book is the Real! None like it for Single Women of Faith
But this book is not for...

The Single Woman of Faith who wears her celibacy as a badge of honor and looks down upon the woman who struggle with celibacy.

Women of faith who are able to successfully pray everything away and never feel the "freaky deaky" feelings, never get aroused even when ovulating and never interact with men alone and don't even want to.

The "pray and wait" single woman who never talks about intimacy with a man nor does she see the need to as she is waiting on God to send her the perfect man where sex will be magical and they'll never be issues because he's "sent from heaven" *in my Keyshia Cole singing voice*

l love you but this book is not for you boo.


The single Woman of Faith who feels what she feels sexually but is tired of being ashamed about it.

The single Woman of Faith who's tired of being told to pray about it but not being told what she do about it.

The single Woman of Faith who's had many struggles with celibacy and desires a mentor who can put her on game on what things to ask Tyrone when it comes to sex.

The single Woman of Faith who doesn’t want to be told whether or not she should go over to a man’s house because she’s grown enough to make that decision for herself, but instead, how prepared she should be in having this conversation if she does go over to his house before anything goes down.

The single Woman of Faith who's tired of being afraid, ashamed and feeling betrayed by her own body for feeling the way she feels about something that's so natural and more.

Realize this is normally the things I teach in my private high end mentorship program as you won't find it anywhere else. You'll only find them in this book, 9 Things Women Should Ask A Man Before Giving Him Sex

Get 9 Things to Ask a Man Before Giving Him Sex + All 5 Bonuses worth $408

For Just $19.97

You’ll receive 9 Things Women Should Ask a Man Before Giving Him Sex digital book, including the audiobook and all of the bonuses immediately.

Here’s What’s Inside The OFFER

  • INTRODUCTION - Here you'll be given the blueprint of the journey you're about to embark on. Don't worry...I'll be with you every step of the way. It won't be easy but it will be attainable as long as you allow me to guide you to freedom land of Your Sexual Success. Just remember, I ain't new to this Boo, I'm true to it. The Harriet T of Your SexLife is ready to take you there.

  • MY STORY - I was once like you...sexually frustrated and fed up with it. Here I share my journey with how ashamed and used I would feel after sex and why I decided to become celibate, how long I was celibate, when I made the decision to be celibate no more and why. Get your popcorn. It's a good story Boo and will inspire you to keep reading to get to you own story of Sexual Liberation and Sexual Success before you're ever married.

  • MY WHY - As mentioned before, I realized while helping wives transform their Marriages and SexLives that many of the issues they were having could be almost eliminated if I got to single women before they married. I learned something I've been saying for years now, 'A sexually frustrated single woman often times becomes a sexually frustrated married woman'. You get to read in detail how it was time I help Women create the 'Ships n SexLives of their dreams while Single.

  • ON YOUR GROWN - You may be grown in age, but are you grown when it's time to stand up to opposition of your sexual success? Why do I ask? Because you will face opposition over your sexuality and the sexual success you're wanting to create as a Single Woman of Faith. There may come a time where your faith will be challenged as this teaching won't often line up with the teachings many of the faith teach on. Now, you can take it or leave it, but just know there's a battle for your Sexuality, the main question from this chapter is, will you keep letting others control it or will you be on your grown and stand up for what's yours in order to get the sexual success you desire?

  • SEXUAL SUCCESS AS A SINGLE WOMAN - This is the chapter that may sound confusing to you at first because it may sound like I'm endorsing sex before marriage which I'm not. But this is the chapter where I share what sexual success is all about and how to obtain it as a single woman. This does not mean sexual issues won't arise in marriage, it just means when they do, because of the sexual success you created before marriage, you'll be able to overcome them because you as the Chooser chose the right man for the job in the sexual success you created before you ever walked down that aisle.

  • ​​EMBRACING YOUR SEXUALITY - What you don't embrace, you shun (reject). So if you don't embrace Your Sexuality, didn't you know you're walking around shunning it? So how can you ask a Man anything about Sex when you don't embrace the very thing necessary for Sex? But that's about to change all in this chapter. Time to embrace what you've shunned for far too long.

  • OWN YOUR BODY - Your body is owned your parents while underage. Your body belongs to God once you come to Him. When married, your body is owned by your husband for life. you ever own YOUR body? In this chapter we're going to break down why you've allowed so many to own what's yours and why this must end if you want to get to Sexual Success while single. Because it's your body or its not, right?

  • PROTECTING YOUR SEXUALITY, SPACE & SANITY - In this chapter is where protection is broken all the way down so its easily digestible as to why you've been having the lack of success you've been having in your 'Ships n Sex. The importance of protecting not only your Sexuality but your space and your sanity is where you'll find the peace you've been needing so that you can now make decisions about your Sexuality from a place of empowerment and peace instead of fear and chaos. By the end of this chapter, you'll allow no one to come against what's yours again.

  • ​9 THINGS TO ASK HIM - You can easily skip to this chapter to get right to the "9 Things". That's your right...but I assure you if you do that, you'll miss the solid foundation laid for you in previous chapters in order to be able to ask a Man these things with the confidence, the unction and the empowerment necessary to get the answers in which you seek. These 9 things will not mean as much if you have no foundation in which to ask them. Remember, I gave you the blueprint in the intro and I'm your guide. I will lead you here Boo. Just be patient and soak in all previous chapters as you will need them to digest the 9 things that will be based on 9 key things: Psychologically, Financially, Relationally, Healthily, Spiritually, Generationally, Mentally, Emotionally and Intimately.

  • CONCLUSION/RECAP - Here I conclude all the chapters into one thing just for you...transformation. After a detailed recap, I conclude with the powerful call for you to take action and create what it is you want relationally and sexually. At this point, you'll be empowered to do just that.

The teachings in this book work even if...

You might be even thinking that you’ll need to have been celibate for years in order to be in a position to ask a man certain things before giving him sex.

You might be thinking that you need to be married first in order to have Sexual Success and create the 'Ships n SexLife of Your Dreams but actually...

while single is when you're supposed to be painting the picture you want to frame for you life. We've been doing it backwards which is one of the main reasons I wrote this book. After working with wives for years helping them to transform their marriages and sex lives, I realize the key was getting to ladies while they're single. We're the Choosers so why in the world have so many of us been choosing to have all these struggles in our relationships and sex lives instead of success in both?

And that's why this book will help even if...

you’ve recently been ghosted

recently fell off the celibacy wheel

constantly starting celibacy over and over again

gave it up and regretted it

gave it up and didn’t regret it

in a situationship you know you don’t need to be in

in a long term 'Ship where marriage doesn’t seem in sight (don't give him sex again until you read this)

not currently giving up the goods

currently giving up the goods (might be best you stop giving up the goods until you read this)

That’s why I’m so excited to be sharing this OFFER with you today!

Act Now
And Get These 5 Bonuses For FREE!

Bonus #1:
9 Things Women Should Ask A Man Before Giving Him Sex (Audio Version)

Upon its release, you’ll get the audio version of the book too. Yes girl, you get to listen to the Audio while driving, on the subway, taking a walk, etc whenever you can’t read the book. Perfect addition to getting all the gems of this book whether on the go or on the slow. 😉

Value: $27

Bonus #2:
3 Things You CAN Do When Horny (50 Minute Audio Training w/ Worksheets)

See…just because you’re a woman of Faith does NOT mean you don’t get horny. And depending on the time of month it is, those horny breakout seasons can be super intense. So in this 50 min audio training, I share candidly what you CAN do (not what you cannot do) to deal with your horny without compromising your faith. And I'm not telling you to go pray either. #Nope

Value: $67

Bonus #3:
Where Has D*ckmatization Gotten You? (Video Masterclass)

What will you do for the "D", right? Even as women of faith, we can get caught up in giving access to our bodies without requiring responsibility for that access. Doing this can constantly mean we've become d*ckmatized and it can even spread in our communities. Where has this gotten you? OEV breaks this down in this important
90 minute Masterclass.

Value: $197

Bonus #4:
3 Things to Do to Get Over D*ckmatization (Mini-Video Training)

In this Follow-up mini training to the 'Where Has D*ckmatization Gotten You' Masterclass, OEV gives 3 practical things ladies can do if they struggle with overcoming obsession with the "D".

Value: $97

Bonus #5:
Access to my 'Pleasure Possee' Private Group (Not on Facebook)

Buying the book? Then you're now part of my 'Pleasure Possee', Ladies who are learning to embrace their sexuality while also seeing pleasure as good (not the opposite) as a single woman of faith. You gain access to my private group, without the distractions of facebook, where we'll discuss the book together (amongst other things). You don't have to be born in to get in, but you definitely gotta join in to get in and this bonus is the only way inside this exclusive group. No sex topic off limits boo.

Value: Priceless


I'll give you a full 30 days to read this book.

If, for some reason, you don’t find the game in this book useful, I’ll refund you the full $19.97.

Just send me an email and we’ll refund you ASAP!

Purchase Your Copy Of
'9 Things Women Should Ask A Man Before Giving Him Sex' for the lowest price ever before the its released!

Don't miss this!

Oh and...

P.S. The recap of all I said above is below for those who like to get straight to the point:

Digital Copy of '9 Things to Ask A Man Before Giving Him Sex' (immediate download)

1. BONUS: Audio Copy of '9 Things to Ask A Man Before Giving Him Sex' (immediate access)

2. BONUS: 3 Things You CAN Do When Horny' 50 Minute Audio Training (w/ Worksheets)

3. BONUS: 'Where Has D*ckmatization Gotten You?' 75 min Masterclass

4. BONUS: '3 Things to Do to Overcome D*ckmatization' Mini-Training

5. BONUS: Access to my 'Sex 4 Ladies' Private Community

Total Value: $408
Get Everything Above Today for

For Just $19.97



I had so many questions and so many misconceptions when it came to sexuality and OEV answered them ALL and more. I'm so grateful for her teaching and her commitment to helping ladies go from repression to liberation. If you're looking for a mentor who's been there and done that and will break down the bible so that all can understand when it comes to relationships and sex, then there's none better to lead you into liberation than her. Thank you OEV. I'm forever grateful!



...and provide them with tools to reign from the inside out. She shares her life experiences to pass on sound wisdom. Her teaching, coaching and mentoring ladies to free themselves from erroneous thinking concerning love, sex, relationships and gender issues. Before being introduced to her material, I was just a young lady struggling to actualize into womanhood. I was sexually repressed/ oppressed, ignorant, sheltered, and closed-minded. Although not sexually “experienced”, I was darkened in my thinking towards sex, my body and femininity. Unfortunately I had been groomed by Evangelical Christianity, society and my upbringing that my body was shameful and sex was dirty. I had been taught to believe that desiring sexual expression outside of “marriage” was sinful. I had been taught that women were to be “kept” or “pure” while men were to be forgiven for their sexual expressions and escapades. Since studying the bible in context with OEV, I have experienced breakthrough and have begun to renew my mind concerning sexuality. I now know what the bible says, in context, concerning sexuality. And moreover, I am able to “study to shew ‘myself‘ approved unto God.." and I no longer experience ANY shame concerning my sexuality or desire to express it."



The Sex 4 Ladies workshop was so much more than I expected. I enrolled in hopes of learning what is sexual sin & what is not. I learned that plus so much more. I learned what is sin, in general, and what is not. This workshop opened my eyes to things I’ve learned over the years by simply trusting others knowledge & follow their teachings. OEV taught us to search for the truth for ourselves. She provided guidance & resources for personal study of God’s Word to set us on a path to, not only sexual freedom, but freedom from the bondage that religion can place on people. I’ve been seeking & finding on my own, growing deeper & closer to the Most High. I will never be the same again.
Thank you OEV".



Though I was on my way to letting them go, her Sex 4 Ladies workshop confirmed that it was finally time to lay them to rest. I've never heard anyone as passionate as OEV when it comes to liberating sexually repressed and sexually frustrated women. She takes her time to answer every question and break down each teaching with the bible as her foundation. She's truly a gem for this generation and then some."

Octavia E Vance

I help High Achieving Women of Faith embrace their Sexuality so that they can create the 'Ships n Sex Life of their dreams without compromising their faith.

As Your Favorite Sexologist, Octavia E Vance, leads high achieving single women from sexual frustration to Sexual Liberation by teaching them to embrace their Sexuality in order to have Sexual Success so that they can create the 'Ships-n-Sex Life of their dreams, without compromising their faith.

Her life’s mission is to build up frustrated women of faith who are tired of struggling in their ‘Ships n Sex so that ladies can heal up, then build up their communities via successful relationships, healthy marriages, elite child rearing and generational wealth.

With over 200k followers across all social media platforms, over 4 million views of her live streams and videos, thousands of ladies from around the globe who have consumed her mentoring, products and content for a decade, OEV has shown why she is the #1 Sexologist for women of faith.

Octavia lives in Texas with her amazing husband of 19 years Antonio and their 5 Stair Steppers, Precious 16, Princess 14, Prince 12, Priya 10 and Promise aka “Baby Man” 8, also known as “The V-Force Fam”.

Get 9 Things Women Should Ask A Man Before Giving Him Sex + All 3 Bonuses Worth $408

Purchase Your Copy Of
'9 Things Women Should Ask A Man Before Giving Him Sex' for the lowest price ever before the its released!

For Just $19.97

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DISCLAIMER: The thingswomenshouldaskaman and strategies stated on this page are from the results of our personal and existing private clients. Please understand that these results are not typical. We’re not implying that you’ll be able to easily duplicate the results of others. We have no idea if you’ll apply what we teach you or how committed to your own sexual success you will be. The information provided is for educational purposes only. Your results will vary and depend on many factors. If you’re not willing to accept that, please do not purchase this book. Wishing you the Sexual Success you desire with the work you put into it. Enjoy and Much Love.